August 2007

…Arriva trains, who are bloody awful.

…Ardeche, where I will spend next week, sunning myself and admiring the nudist beaches

…Amazed at the level of communication between Canoe England and the Welsh Canoe Association.

Some bloke with mad skillz on the Ardeche.

What are we going to do in November when the rivers run dry?

A few fleeting days at home between adventures.

The wooden paddle is coming along steadily. Lots of planing today, making square things round is tricky. They have a name now. UgliStiks.

This morning I was delighted to discover that I am going to become a multi millionaire.

From: Sherif Sambo
Address: Accra-Ghana,
Email: sherif_sambov@email.si

I am Mr Sherif, Accounts supervisor with International Commercial Bank, Ghana.
I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you. On January,
2006, a Foreign Diamond consultant/contractor with the Ghana National Diamond
Corporation, Mr. David Sluka, made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve
calendar months, valued at SD$29,500,000.00, (Twenty Nine Million, Five Hundred
Thousand Dollars) in my branch.

Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to
his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, I sent a reminder and
finally I discovered from his contract employers, the Ghana National Diamond
Corporation that Mr. David Sluka died from attack. On further investigation, I
found out that he died without making a WILL and all attempts to trace his next
of kin was fruitless. I therefore made further investigation and discovered
that Mr. David Sluka did not declare any kin or relations in all his official
documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of USD$29,
500,000.00 is in the Escrow Bank Account here in the Bank for safe-keeping.

Noone can ever come forward to claim it. According to Ghana Law, at the
expiration of 8 (eight) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the
Ghana Government if nobody applies to claim the fund. Consequently, my proposal
is that I want you as a Foreigner to stand in as the rightful owner of the
money. It’s deposited in Escrow Account. In the circumstance, I want to present
you as the rightful owner of the deposit in the Bank so that you can be able to
claim them with the help of my attorney. This is simple. I would like you to
provide immediately your Full names, contact address as well as your direct
Telephone number, so that I can  put in Bank Computer Data, to prove you as the
rightful beneficiary/next of kin to late out late client who made the deposit.

The money will be transfered to your nominated bank account in your country and
share in the ratio of 50% for me and 40% for you, while 10% will be used to
take care of every expenses we might incure. There is no risk at all as all
internal documentation will  manager and retrive by me and this will guarantees
the successful execution of this transaction on your behalf, please reply
immediately via my email address. Upon your response, I shall then provide you
with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the
transaction and swing into the necessary action while I confide in you hoping
you will not betray me at last.

Mr Sherif Sambo 

Actually, its quite nice.

2 weeks in Lancaster working for the Cadet Centre for Adventurous Training, and slacking off to play at Wish You Were Here, the local(ish) squirt boating spot.

Picture by Dave Fairweather

Turns out Jill Dando was on Holiday, not Wish You Were Here.